I had never been spiritual my entire life. I thought the occasional church on Sundays was enough… however, the mysteries, the novenas, the Sto. Niño’s and Sto. Niña’s did not mean much to me and at the back of my head, I couldn’t conceive nor comprehend such a place like hell. So when this strange new sensation fell upon me, I was at a loss. It spilled throughout me from the inside out. It was like a big ball of energy that filled me up and surrounded my innermost tunnels and flowed through the smallest of my fibers. If I didn’t know better I would say the sensations were akin to that of an acid trip. Only it was more constant and without any of the paranoia.
In my quest to pin down this weird phenomena, I took to reading about the Annunaki, Yaqui Indian Sorcery, Buddhism, Hare Krishna, Jung and Kierkegaard philosophies, anything to help me understand. None of my research proved fruitful for none of their theories were enough to explain what I felt was going on inside me. At this point, my dreams had also become more intense, and I remember the most beautiful of all had involved an all encompassing glow. It was an unimaginable, unexplainable un-namable being that radiated with unspeakable love and a most quiet gentleness. When this being appeared in my dream, and without having to speak a word, I just knew I was going to be alright. The peace the dream left me with kept me smiling up until the moment and long after I had woken up.
I would also dream of a man. This man would always appear with an animal and words that rang of truth and wisdom. I never actually saw his face but being around him felt right and filled me with the most beautiful comfort. It was as if I had been searching for him all my life and when we were finally together it just felt that he Is the One. Three times he had appeared to me in my dreams and each time I woke up I was filled with a longing to find him and just be with him. At first I thought I had been dreaming about my soul mate but my twin suggested to me one day, in all seriousness, “Maybe it’s Jesus Christ.” I laughed at the absurdity of her suggestion. I had never once considered any of my dreams to be of spiritual importance and to actually dream of Jesus? Yeah right.
Yet, it was also through a dream that I was given a warning about a man that I was dating at that time. I had been going out with someone whom I thought was perfect for me. 3 months into it, I dreamt that I was in his bedroom. And on his bedside mirror, I saw 3 pictures taped on it. Upon closer scrutiny, I saw that these were pictures of 3 different girls. Deeply disturbed, I told him of my dream the next day. He cried and confessed that my dream was real. He had not been honest with me and had been going out with someone else during our relationship.
This happened in December 2010 and would prove to be an important landmark in my journey with Christ. This would mark the first time in my life that I got down on my knees and prayed.
“He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night,
when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in their beds.”
Job 33:15 (NLT)